Would we ever have expected this?

The relief we felt having her where she needed to be was short lived.
On the 8^th day after she was born she started vomiting, which up until this point was rare for Georgia. The nurse that was caring for her was a little concerned but she said that it was quite normal for heart babies to have trouble digesting their food, so we were not hugely worried.
The next day my husband and I travelled over from the island to see her, she was a very pale grey colour and very clammy. This tiny little being in a massive cot. The nurse informed us that she was not keeping down any food and was vomiting a green substance, she believed it may be a problem with her bowel as it is quite common with children that have Situs Inversus Totalis. I just knew. We had to return home so Rob could go to work before they had a chance to scan her to find out what was wrong. I know it sounds ridiculous that we had to leave but we had a mortgage and I had been made redundant when I was pregnant so Rob’s job was our only income.
 As we were travelling back on the ferry I just sat and watched Southampton get further and further away through my tears, and I knew, I just knew she was terribly ill but there was nothing I could do about it. If there ever was a time I wanted to switch places with her it was then. Rob and I sat in complete silence until we were home and put on a brave face for Josh.
We had been home for under an hour when I received a call from one of the registrars at the hospital. She told me that they had scanned Georgia and found a twist in her bowel and that they had to do surgery immediately otherwise she would die. They couldn’t wait until we returned to the hospital, they were already prepping her for surgery. I had to give my consent for the surgery to go ahead and was told that the risks of death were very low with this procedure but it was pretty much a certainty she would have to have a colostomy bag for the rest of her life. As soon as I hung up I couldn’t breathe, I had trouble saying it to Rob and my mum, I was trying so hard to not let on to Josh that anything was wrong.
Rob has had so much happen to him in his life so he manages to deal with these things a lot better than I do, I mean he is not heartless its just his coping mechanism is so much better than mine as it's had to be.
We had to just get on with it as there was nothing we could do and I was ok right up until Josh went to bed then I couldn’t take my mind off it. Honestly I was just waiting for the call to tell me she hadn’t made it. Every time I saw a car drive past our house my stomach jolted as I stupidly thought they might send someone to tell us she was gone. My mind just whirled round and round. I was mainly thinking that if she didn’t make it then I didn’t want them to keep her alive until we got there, they needed to just let her go.
The call came 7 hours later to tell us that she was a lucky little fighter and that her bowel had untwisted on its own before they could get to it. They removed her appendix too just to save any confusion in the future (as all her internal organs are the wrong way round). So she didn’t need a colostomy bag either. Up until that moment I hadn’t considered how bad it would have been to deal with that as I was all consumed with her survival. As Rob said later, she has a lot of angels up there watching out for her.
She had been moved to Intensive Care now and she was on a ventilator until she was healed a bit, yet another hurdle for the poor little mite. Because Georgia had heart troubles and breathing problems it would have been very easy for her to become reliant on the ventilator as it gave her body a rest.
On the journey we have been through up to date none of it, not even her heart surgery, were as hard to deal with as this first surgery. I know it sounds silly as it was only a bowel operation but we hadn’t prepared ourselves for it. Perhaps it set us up for the surgery to come so we knew what to expect? I don’t know, but what I do know is I will never forgive myself for not being there with her.
Did you know that Georgia has the most beautiful eyes? They are so expressive. She can make you feel happy and sad all at the same time just by looking into them. When she got really ill I would just sit at her bedside while she just lay there staring at me from under her beautiful long lashes. Those eyes have made me feel guilt for the ‘bowel surgery day’ everyday since.One day I will forgive myself, but hey lets face it parenting is just one big guilt trip!