Tuesday 20 September 2011

Angels

I haven't blogged for a while.  I suppose I didnt really feel the need to anymore.  I have got most of my troubled memories off my chest.  Or so I thought.

Just one conversation can take me back to a way of feeling.  For the person in question I was talking to I will not mention what was said.  This conversation completely took me back to being pregnant with Georgia and having to make the decision to keep her not.  As hard as it was, it was also easy.  That sounds bizarre but in that situation all I could do was imagine how it would feel to be holding my baby when she was no longer alive, to see if I would be able to cope with the knowledge that it had been my decision to do that.  Don't misunderstand me, I can understand how that decision can be made.  I wonder if, had we known how hard it was going to be would we have made the same decision?  Who knows. 

My heart breaks for the women who don't get given the choice.  That just lose their babies with no warning.  That, for me, would be harder than anything we have been through.  We have been granted time, time to know her, time to love her, time to show her she is our world.  For that I am so grateful. 

So I am having a day feeling torn between feeling great for having our little Georgia and feeling sad for all the ladies that only knew their babies for a short time. 

These women should be recognised for the strength they have.  I am not sure I would cope.