One year on.......

Today is the year anniversary of Georgia's heart surgery.

What we have been through could have torn us apart.  Luckily it has just made us stronger.

I remember telling someone that Georgia's story so far has been like going through hell.  Quite honestly, if I had to go through hell, there is no other person better to go through it with than Rob.

Both our children are our world.  I am so proud of both of them.  Josh has been a little warrior, he has had to put up with all the trips to the hospitals, he has seen so much he should never have had to.

I can't even explain how brave and determined Georgia is.  She has amazed me with everything she has achieved.

I didn't really want to write a blog today.  I have written and rewritten this page so many times.  I just don't know how to put how I have felt today into words. 

All day I have been clock watching, thinking what we were doing at this time on that day.  I feel like I have relived it today. 

Maybe I need to start to let it go.  This blog has helped in someways, but made it worse in others.  It makes me think about stuff that I shouldn't really keep going over.  There is nothing I can do to change the past.  There is nothing I can do to make her better.  It is what it is.

I have started doing Physio on Georgia.  The respiratory team think it will help her breathing.  So far the only thing it has done is make her breathing worse and make her really stressed.  They said this would happen though.  It should start to get better soon.

I have to hold a mask over her face for a certain amount of time.  That doesn't sound so bad does it?  Well then imagine how awful it is with a girl who was prone to gasping for air.  She is petrified of this mask, to her it's like I am trying to suffocate her.  She arches her back while she is screaming and looks me right in the eye.  Its horrid.  I am also worried about the amount of stress this puts on her heart.  She has, after all, still got a heart condition.

So life goes on, much the same as it always has.  It's normal to us now. 

Sometimes I wish we could just have the same insignificant worries as everyone else.  I would not change Georgia for the world though. 

In the year since the surgery she has learnt so much.  She walks, she drinks, she eats, she babbles and she smiles.  All the time.