Saturday 11 June 2011

Sleeping Beauty

Georgia had 2 chest drains, 2 pace wires, a catheter, an arterial line, ECG wires and patches and a sats monitor on her foot.  She also had her ventilator tube in the side of her mouth.

I remember wondering why she had a hole in the side of her neck.  It was only small, but a hole nonetheless.  The nurse told me it was where they had the arterial line in for surgery, they put it in her arm afterwards. 

Georgia still has that scar of the hole on her neck now.

After we had spent a bit of time with her we realised that it seemed a little pointless.  Georgia was not going to be woken up and taken off the ventilator for a couple of days.  Rob disappeared off to watch the World Cup.  I decided to stay with her and hold her little hand.  It was impossible to get any closer to her.

Rob's mum was taking over Joshie watch from my mum that night, so on her way home my mum was going to drop into the hospital to see us and bring with her some, much needed, clean clothes.

It was shocking for me to see Georgia after her op.  Not long afterwards I no longer saw the wires, just Georgi.
I didn't even think about how it would be for my mum, to me it was normal.

I sat in my car, waiting for her.  All day I had managed to be really brave and not cry.  This is a huge accomplishment for me.  I am the type that cries at Eastenders! 
I was really proud of myself for holding it together, not only for myself, but for Rob too. 
Sitting on my own though, I started to run it all through my mind.  It hit me then. I was crying so much I couldn't catch my breath. 

I called Marc (my step dad) and poured my heart out.  Bless him, he cried with me. 

When mum and I finally walked back into PICU, her reaction must have been what I had looked like.  She looked horrified.  Sorry for not warning you before we went in mum!
A few days later my Dad came to visit her too.  It must have been awful for him.  He had only seen Georgia a few times in her short little life, for him to see her in that situation must have been petrifying.

After my mum left, I sat and watched Georgi for ages.  On one hand I was so scared of what was to come. On the other hand, I was so proud of her at that moment I thought my heart would burst.  She is so beautiful even asleep. 

All I wanted to see was that Georgia smile.

No comments:

Post a Comment